Sarah's Confused Penis

Okay.

I thought I had problems. It seems as though Sarah, our Philly hag on "The Real World," thinks she's got it all up in her, or at least enough to straighten a gay. She wanted so much for him to be bi, but she ended up with a "bye." What do all you straights think? You think we can switch it off like a ceiling fan? Her sexual exploits even went as far as a romp in the IKEA-furnished den of rainbow-colored stuffy pillows, as if any one really has one of those rooms in their "real" house.

"I've never been with a confused penis," Sarah admits to gay Willy (perfect name for a gay, don't you think?).
"Did you feel like a lesbian? Was it a little dyky?" he shoots back, like only a gay man named Willy can.

A confused penis? Darling, it's called GAYYYYYYYYYYYY. Get used to it. We can't all be normal (take note, Samanjamin).

Now I gotta go figure out who to avoid at the Thanksfornothing dinner table. I hate family.

Ben