I got a voicemail from a local gym today saying I won a three-day free pass to use their facilities. I wonder if I'm on some list of skinny-challenged Western New Yorkers.
I calculated how long it would take for me to work out in order to be a skinny bitch. I'd have to exercise five hours every day for 135 years.
If only they'd given me a 49,276-day pass.
In other news, Oprah must die. She makes me want to throw up and send it to her in an envelope. Ditto for Bette Midler. And all Omahanians (those from Omaha).
Later,
B
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