Phrases recently overheard on an episode of MTV's "Next," causing me to vomit repeatedly in my mouth

Come on ladies, which one of you is going to scale this mountain of manhood?

If she has no sass, she can kiss my ass.

Hey Benjamin, you didn't pick me and you missed out on this (lifts his shirt up).

I'm Hillary, I'm 20, and there's no way (I won't get picked) because (moment of pause) I've got a third nipple.

I'm Nicole, I'm 19, and my strategy is to have no strategy. I don't need one.

I thought about going blonde, but I talked to my hairdresser and he goes, "Prepare for six months of depression, because people don't notice you as much." They don't see the light, you know what I mean? (Snaps as if to say, "You go girlfriend" and "Can I get a witness, ladies?")

(There was also a girl named Kourtney with a K.)

(Six minutes later...) What? Look at you and your jock-ass basketball uniform. Bye Bye! You don't even deserve to see my third nipple! Bitch! (Sashays and shauntays off in a tiffy.)

(Back in the trailer, one girl comments on the current girl's cold shoulder): To be honest, she's been the least friendly. I told her, "I like your bracelet," and she goes, "Thanks."

I hope he appreciates my tan.

(After taking a lie-detector test and being dumped for admitting there was a more attractive girl on the bus): I should have lied. Why didn't I lie? I always lie.

(When asked if she'd ever cheated on her boyfriend, Kourtney with a K says): Yes.
(When then asked if she was a virgin, Kourtney with a K says): Yes.

(Guy): Kourtney, I completely respect the fact that you're a virgin. We've been on a date for 42 minutes, so you've earned $42. You can either take the money or go on a second date with me.
(Response): You know when I said I thought you were hot on the lie-detector test? Yeah, I was lying. I'm out of here.